Moving on to a new life...

I guess I have moved on already and I wanted to be alone and not attached to anyone else yet until I find the right person for me. It has also been a while since I visited my page because I have been feeling down recently because of the life I had and the threats I received from the guy. The father of my child and whom I had a conflict with. But now I am gradually moving on.

I was so depressed because I resigned from my job, I did not have money, I am a single mom and is still dependent on my parents but then I realized that I was just carried away with the emotions. I know what I am capable of and I can do what I want with my life. Also, I forgot that I have the most wonderful gift I have received who made me stronger and motivated me to move on, my son. My parents are very helpful and supportive despite the things I have done.

I am trying to be distant from the father of my child. It is hard to forget everything and I do not want to come back to him especially that he is not changing at all. He hasn't have a job, is dependent, is using drugs still and these things have made me realize that I am really not important to him.

But there is no way he can ruin me with his threats. I know he is not thinking well because drugs have dehydrated his brains and what would I expect from him? An apology? I do not think it would happen. He apologized a hundred times but I see no sincerity. He is not showing any respect to my family, but still what do I expect from him? He could have changed everything after all that we did. He could have brought me flowers, found a job, apologized to me and my whole family in a sincere manner, and left the vices he had but these were not done. I was expecting he would but he didn't.

However, God shows me the sign that he is not the right guy although we have a child. I could not force myself to be with someone who is not even regretting a single mistake at all. I would never ever be going to forgive unless he would change and I would see it myself.